I don’t know how I let myself turn to Urban Dictionary in order to describe something to a friend, but I encountered the word “tootz” (not to be confused with “tutz”, which I already use semi-frequently, mainly around Matt, who hates it when I call him that) and enjoyed the entry so much I didn’t even mind the bad grammar. Naturally, I thought of every excuse I could to say it in conversation today.
tootz
V.trans: To light something on fire.
Albert tootzed up the grill and he and his friends barbecued a few bratwursts and knocked back some brewskis. Life was good in Milwaukee. Or WAS, until the attack of the seven-foot Japanese beetles ruined their cookout.
“Damn beetles!” moaned Albert, as one of the large hemiopter was chewing off his face.
“I told you, don’t get those beetle traps, didn’t I,” chided Steve. “They just ATTRACT them to your place. Next time, use spray. Damn the environment!”
But by that time, Albert couldn’t hear Steve’s good if belated advice, because the beetle had chewed his head off entirely.
Try it. I think Mikey would agree that it isn’t nearly as difficult as steering a conversation so far off the road and into a gorge just so you can use the word “shuttlecock” in a sentence.
Another personal favorite:
Kobe
A city in Japan.
See also basketball and rape.
