I’m no longer worried about ice skating. Just about everything listed on the syllabus doesn’t even really require that we move our legs apart (which is ladylike, I suppose). The most irritating part (and I hate to say this because I’ll come off as really stuck-up) is holding myself back. Today I stood there and did my best pretending I didn’t know how to skate forward.
The last half hour we were allowed practice time, so I picked up the pace a bit. I felt like if I didn’t move fast, my legs would freeze in place. Nearly everyone got off the ice after that, and I felt like a total bitch. I’m quite out of practice and I could recognize a million errors in my form, but to the other students, I’m sure I was the girl who thought she was better than everyone else. The only person who DIDN’T get off the ice was the only boy in the class. After a little while, two girls got back on and came over to talk to me, and the three of us got along great. Everyone else had actually left the arena.
That was truly my only gripe about skating. I wasn’t good enough to associate with the other girls, or I received glares from the public during open sessions. That’s when I would practice outside of sessions with my coach. I wasn’t in the club, so exclusive ice time was a no-no. I can love the blisters on my ankles, and the bruises from completely biffing it across the rink, and not being able to feel my toes, but I seriously have a hard time coping with people thinking I’m a snobby girl, because I was always the girl that the snobby girls frowned upon. I don’t know. I kind of wanted to go about college with the ‘I’m not there to make friends, I’m there to get stuff done’ attitude, because I thought it would take away any social anxiety. But, the more I think about it, classes would be just as difficult if I developed a reputation that’s cold as ice.
Man, damned if I do, damned if I don’t, really.
It’s occurred to me just now that I’ve been neglecting KoL.
How awful.
It brings me such joy.
I should go log in.
